It has been a while since my last report and write up and there is a reason for that, and I might as well make it public.
I have been sick.
Very Sick, but not in the way that you think.
No, I do not have cancer, or some other illness in that category.
For the past 8 months, I have been battling a severe battle with depression and anxiety. It is a personal issue, but it is one that I can no longer just sweep under the rug. It has affected every facet of my life. It has affected my work, my social life, my health both mental and physical, and pretty much every facet of my life.
I have been dealing with this since I was 20. I always think I am getting better, but I just find out that I am putting band aids on the issue. After numerous doctor’s visits, medications, therapy sessions, talks with professionals and all the trouble that comes with dealing this, I came to the conclusion that I needed help, and it was going to cause me to truly take time to find out what I can do.
Many people believe that psychiatric disorders are perhaps the most misunderstood issues, but what people do not understand how devastating they are to people and their lives. It is more than what think.
Nobody knows what causes these issues. Some say it is learned behaviors, chemical imbalances, or unhealthy lifestyles.
All I know is this, I had to take time to get my health correct. I have taken a leave of absence from my job to address these issues. It had gotten to the point to where I could not even perform my jobs. Constant physical issues I have been having got me to the point to where having hobbies was a complete afterthought, let alone doing a good job at my job.
Having gotten to the point to where I could not perform my job duties, I prayed and felt it was a necessary time to take a break to get better. I want to be the best I can be at whatever job I do, whether it be in the financial sector or this blog. My body needs time to repair and heal and to perform at maximum ability. Its not like I had a choice in the matter, my body demands it. What good am I if I cannot do anything for work or anything else?
Dr. Charles Stanley is the pastor at First Baptist Church in Atlanta, GA. He has preached on the topics of emotions many times. I have been very open in what I believe from a religious perspective. I am a Christian and I believe in a God that is both personal and powerful, and one that does not want his Children to suffer needlessly. In his book Emotions, Dr. Stanley says about depression and anxiety “When you are in that state, depressed, down, anxious, fretting about everything, you cannot look your best, you cannot do your best, and you surely cannot be your best. That is why this is a serious thing to grapple a hold of.”
The American lifestyle says to just keep grinding away regardless of the problems, but when you are sleeping 2 hours a night, 4 on a good night, so sick at work you can barely keep your head up let alone had cogent conversations, and the pain is so excruciating that is all you can focus on, something has to give.
It would be foolish to not get help. That is why for these next few weeks I will be rehabbing and focusing on getting healthy, establishing healthy habits. My doctor suggested that I try to resume as normal as possible without straining too much mentally or physically.
I never thought at this age that I would have to relearn things like healthy habits, but sometimes in the pursuit of success we go off the rails and need to learn to get back on. That is what I am doing. I ask for your prayers as I take this one day at a time and get back to blogging, working, and living.
First write up coming up tomorrow.